Glenda’s Story

"Our story began on August 15, 1991, the day after my husband and I celebrated our 31st anniversary. As we kissed goodnight, I remember noting how easy and trouble-free our life had been: our daughter, Dana, had finished her education, married and had a good job. Our son, Ben, was in his second year of divinity school. Neither of them had given us any problems.

The very next day, Dana came to tell us that she was getting divorced and asked for our support. She also told us that Ben was coming home to tell us he was gay. Dana explained that Ben could never change, that it was not a choice for him, and that he had never planned to admit it but could no longer live with the lie.

Next, she came to the part that made me cry: she told me that Ben was driving around town in his car waiting for her pre-arranged signal:

1. If her car was still in front of our house, it meant that we were still talking and he was supposed to keep riding around.
2. If her car was gone, it meant that she told us and we were not accepting; he should leave and go home.
3. But, if she had told us and we were accepting, she should turn on the light in his old bedroom window.

My heart nearly broke. We immediately jumped up and turned on every light in the house, from the porch lights in the front, the attic, and even every closet light. When our son drove into the driveway the house was a beacon to him that our love was unconditional and that we would always be there for him. It was a magic moment for all of us."

Glenda Guess Reprinted with permission from PFLAG National and the Guess family.

Footnote: Glenda and Ben's story is told in more detail in Chasity Bono's new book Family Outing.